With it being Olympics season and all, cousin S had posted something on Facebook about Gagik Tsarukyan the president of Armenia’s National Olympic Committee. Her post read something like this…
Cousin S: “Sure he evades taxes, houses lions and tigers and plants trees in Bentleys(rumors I’m sure) but he’s probably the reason most of these Athletes from Armenia made it to Rio.”
Now, one would assume she was TRYING to exaggerate things to make her post dramatic by writing such absurd things, but I couldn’t stop laughing because it’s all true and that is not even the half of it.In addition to being president of Armenia’s National Olympic Committee, Tsarukyan also happens to be one of the most
corrupt rich men in the tiny, poor and struggling nation of Armenia. His credentials include entrepreneur, boxer, wrestler, and word-champion arm wrestler, political leader, National Assembly member, philanthropist, father of 6, tax evader, animal breeder, alcohol brewer/distiller, businessman, furniture and pharmaceutical sales, oligarch, masonry, etc… Seriously check out his Wikipedia and YouTube his daughter’s wedding to grasp the ridiculousness that is Gagik Tsarukyan.
When my fathered retired, he decided to leave the country and go somewhere he could live comfortably on his social security pension. He repatriated to the country his parents were born in and happened to settle in Arinj, Armenia the village where Tsarukyan was born. Well, Tsarukyan hasn’t traveled far from the neighborhoods he grew up in and now resides in a hilltop compound overlooking the village of Arinj. We can see the large permiter walls that surround his mansion from my father’s house. A few years ago while visiting my father, I was telling him that my jetlag was causing me to have hallucinations. I told him that early in the morning while I was still half asleep I was hearing a roar like sound and asked him if it was his dog. Disgusted, he said “it’s not your jetlag… you really did hear a roar. It’s Tsarukyan’s Lion!” I mean W.T.F.????
Her post was so funny that I suggested we start a satirical media outlet like The Onion, but the stories we would post would be actual truths and facts that are so out of this world that people would assume they were embellished for entertainment. GENIUS IDEA #2