The Jig is up Disneyland!

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Dear Disneyland,

I visited your park on 1/16/16. I would like to lodge a formal complaint. I was born and raised in southern California and this theme park has always been part of my life. My parents honeymooned at Disneyland Hotel (they didn’t go to the park, because they could barely afford your fancy hotel). As a child, and well into my teens, I visited the park annually. In my 20s I lived with a Disney employee who would invite me to be her guest at the park. Now, in my 30s I’m living within 10 miles of the park, so for the better part of 5 year now, I’ve succumbed to the obscene prices for the annual passes. (AP)

This past weekend I found myself at your park on a blackout day when my cheapo SoCal Select AP was useless so like a good Disneyland patron I shelled out another $100 to get in.  My companion on this trip (Hi Marina!) also an AP holder (but not the cheapo pass like me, she has the real deal) only wanted to do 3 simple things;

  1. Ride Space Mountain
  2. See Belle from Beauty and the Beast
  3. Watch the 60th anniversary fireworks show from Main Street (we had both previously seen the fireworks from it’s a small world)

I was determined to check off all 3 items on this modest list. We battled the longass line for Space Mountain. This particular day was the most crowded I’ve seen your park in the 30+ years I’ve been visiting. I get that it was a long weekend and the day of the Star Wars marathon but imagine our reactions after waiting 2 hours to ride Space Mountain only to find out we couldn’t view our photo from the ride because you weren’t doing photos that day! W.T.F. Disneyland…? We waited two hours and you can’t have our fucking photo taken? It was upsetting! I had to shake it off and move on to crossing item #2 off our “to do” list. Upon consulting the Disneyland app we found out that Belle was going to be at the Royal Hall for another 15 minutes. We made a beeline for the Royal Hall (there was nothing “royal” about this hall). After waiting in yet another line we rounded the corner to meet Belle and my mind went blank. The only word in my head was WHAAAAAT?

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Seriously Disneyland? What the WHAAAT? We shell out hundreds and hundreds of dollars and THIS IS WHAT YOU GIVE US?  What kind of messed up bullshit bootleg Belle was that? I could have found a better Belle on Craigslist! I’ve seen better Belle’s at children’s birthday parties with clowns and bouncy houses! What you were trying to pass off as Belle is deplorable!If I was upset about no photos at Space Mountain I was now seething about this!

My reaction surprised me because I would have thought I’d be proud of you for having an open mind about what these princesses can or should look like. I’m ethnic and growing up I didn’t care for your princesses because none of them looked like me and I couldn’t relate to them  (until my mom died, can we also talk about why almost all your characters are motherless or orphaned? What kind of sick shit is that all about?) I appreciate diversity, I do, BUT imagine if  you had tried to diversify Pocahontas, Tiana, Mulan or Jasmine! You just can’t go and change the ethnicity of a princess ok? I’m still a little conflicted and confused about why I was so bothered by this, but just stop it ok? I come to the park to escape reality and I expect things to be a certain way… STOP MESSING WITH IT! I don’t like all these changes! First you shoved Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, then you tainted the Haunted Mansion with Nightmare Before Christmas and now Star Wars is spreading like cancer. It’s enough. you’re messing with enough shit you don’t need to be messing with fucking Belle too!

-Lifelong loyal patron…Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

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