I bumped into this on Freshly Pressed. I can count off more couples I know that are in this predicament than I can name off stable or healthy ones. I used to say I would never settle down and get married until I could find 10 couples who had been married for over 10 years whose marriages I respected and whom I considered to be he in happy unions. I quickly dropped that requirement because at any given time I can’t even think of 3 couples that fit the bill.
Here are some quotes from the author that resonated with me from this blog because I am seeing this in relationships and marriages all around me.
“‘Til death do us part” has become “Until I get bored of you.”
“People who are barely old enough to rent a car are buying homes with or making lifelong commitments to someone they have only known for a few months. Sure, everyone is different and sometimes ‘when you know, you just know,’ but drastic lifestyle changes do not allow us to settle in comfortably. This can easily lead to regret not too far down the road. Not to mention resentment for your partner. Two things that should never be present in a relationship”
“Too often people are left saying “but they changed!” No they didn’t, you just finally learned who they really were. The truth came out. People can only put on a facade for so long, and if you make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion, there is only trouble to follow”
“Committing your entire life to someone you have only known for a few months, or even just a year, has not given you the glimpse into who they truly are that you will need to see in order to make a decision of that magnitude. Even sharing an apartment or house together too soon opens up an entire new set of complications that a new couple will be unprepared for”